Winnerandy
Experienced Web Design'er
Hi Guys!
I've decided to make a thread where you can found more than 200 yo mamma jokes!
If you errors in the text, please PM me!
I hope you all like these jokes!
You will see many errors and bad grammar on these sentences, so please tell me where they are, because I tried to translate from Swedish to English!
So sorry for the grammar and errors in the text!
I think I'll add new jokes later..
You can check the orginal Swedish Yo mamma jokes at Din mamma skämt!
Credits:
- Cykotitan (For telling me new jokes) ^^
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Your mother is so stupid:
- Your mother is so stupid that when she sits in the audience at the football game she gets the red card.
- Your mother is so stupid that she got a knife cut in a gun duel.
- Your mother is so stupid that she was fired from the M & M factory because she threw away all the W: P.
- Your mother is so stupid she got hit by a parked car.
- Your mother is so stupid that she thinks that it is ice cubes to keep the refrigerator cold.
- Your mother is so stupid she took a blood test and received the IG.
- Your mother is so stupid it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes!
- Your mother is so stupid that she went to a restaurant, looked at the menu and said "OK!".
- Your mother is so stupid that when she went to discot which must be over 18, she brings 17 friends.
- Your mother is so stupid that she can not read a Kassettbok.
- Your mother is so stupid that she thinks that the last meal is when the National Coupons are final.
- Your mother is so stupid that she gave the monk because it was a hole in it.
- Your mother is so stupid that she calls directory inquiry to get the number to 112.
- Your mother is so stupid that she thought that the Salvation Army won the war.
- Your mother is so stupid that she stood on a chair to raise her Intelligence Quotient.
- Your mother is so stupid that she has to go into another room only to change their minds.
- Your mother is so stupid that she eats soup with Chinese sticks.
- Your mother is so stupid that she invented the sliding doors for submarines.
- Your mother is so stupid that she tripped over a cordless phone.
- Your mother is so stupid that she sold the car for the money for petrol.
- Your mother is so stupid that she threw a rock at the floor and missed.
- Your mother is so stupid it took her 50 to take driving lessons because she could not get used to sit in the front seat.
- Your mother is so stupid that she is fasting in a broken elevator for three hours.
- Your mother is so stupid that she tried to drown a fish.
- Your mother is so stupid she bought a flashlight that goes on photovoltaics.
- Your mother is so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
- Your mother is so stupid that she thinks that the Jehovah's Witnesses work in court.
- Your mother is so stupid that she was born on New Year's Day and can not remember her birthday.
- Your mother is so stupid that she went into an antique shop and asked, "Anything new?" '.
- Your mother is so stupid that when she read "Do not write below the dotted line" on the work increase, she wrote "OK".
- Your mother is so stupid that she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds.
- Your mother is so stupid that it takes hours for her to cook instant macaroni.
- Your mother is so stupid that she sat on the TV and watched the couch.
- Your mother is so stupid she jumped out of the skyscraper and fell over.
- Your mother is so stupid that she calls to directory inquiry to get the number for directory inquiries.
- Your mother is so stupid that when she was locked in the bathroom she peed on it.
- Your mother is so stupid that she is a lesbian and fell in love with a gay.
- Your mother is so stupid that she took the 14 girlfriends to a child forbidden cinema.
- Your mother is so stupid to archaeologists trying to dig for her IQ.
- Your mother is so stupid that she tried to put M & M in the alphabet.
- Your mother is so stupid she asked you the number to 112.
- Your mother is so stupid that she used a ruler to see how long she slept.
- Your mother is so stupid that she tried to steal free McDonald's-balloons.
- Your mother is so stupid that when she goes to watch her match all the time on the judge.
- Your mother is so stupid that she thought the group Boys II, however, was a youth center.
- Your mother is so stupid she bought a video camera to record cable TV programs in the country next door.
- Your mother is so stupid that she burned to a CD recorder.
- Your mother is so stupid that when she jumped out the window she fell over.
- Your mother is so stupid that when she took an umbrella when she would see "SLEEPLESS in Seattle."
- Your mother is so stupid that she write this when she sees Disney Day.
- Your mother is so stupid she climbed over a transparent glass wall to see what was on the other side.
- Your mother is so stupid that she uses the Tipp-Ex when she writes on the computer.
- Your mother is so stupid that she stamps their email.
- Your mother is so stupid that she sat in an hour and looked at the juice-packaging, because it was "concentrated".
- Your mother is so stupid that she gave birth to you.
- Your mother is so stupid that she tried to drown a fish.
- Your mother is so stupid that when the computer said "Press any key to continue" found she was not "any key".
- Your mother is so stupid that she sold the house to pay the rent.
- Your mother is so stupid that she sends thanks-for-last-card to the dentist.
- Your mother is so stupid that she leaves in his clothes to the tailor as soon as he loses a key.
- Your mother is so stupid she locked the bathroom door from outside instand of inside.
- Your mother is so stupid that she test the smoke before he goes to bed every night.
- Your mother is so stupid that she put balls in the ball mouse.
- Your mother is so stupid that she goes to Åhléns disc department to buy plasterboard.
- Your mother is so stupid she sits on a suppository when all chairs are occupied.
- Your mother is so stupid that she tries to get the word älgmule as many times as possible in their daily vocabulary.
- Your mother is so stupid that she takes with the computer to weight watchers because he thinks it is so great.
- Your mother is so stupid that she spit on the computer screen each time it is wearing.
- Your mother is so stupid that she check count their teeth every night.
- Your mother is so stupid that she thinks that coconut is a SIAMESE cow.
- Your mother is so stupid that she gets embarrassed every time a newscaster say, "Good evening!".
- Your mother is so stupid that she speaks in the mouth of himself.
- Your mother is so stupid that she fake orgasm when masturbating.
- Your mother is so stupid that she plays video games against blind people.
- Your mother is so stupid that she went to the moon in order to train the moon walk.
- Your mother is so stupid that she thought that she has ended up at a party when she went into the Systembolaget.
- Your mother is so stupid that she thinks that all Hells Angels members are kramgoa.
- Your mother is so stupid that she applied for a loan of sperm bank.
- Your mother is so stupid that she shoots storks to prevent overpopulation of the earth.
- Your mother is so stupid that she turns a blind eye when she was driving.
- Your mother is so stupid that she thinks that Ronald McDonald is cool.
- Your mother is so stupid that she believes that all Black is made of YUMMY chocolate.
- Your mother is so stupid that she became dizzy when she was watching a Polkagrisen.
- Your mother is so stupid that she was using the bow on the dart game.
- Your mother is so stupid that she tries to liberate all the evening newspapers
- Your mother is so stupid that she demanded to get MVG + + + rating in the math.
- Your mother is so stupid that she sleeps with an air bag, in case she would fall out of bed.
- Your mother is so stupid that she FULLY all matches on Ironing hint.
- Your mother is so stupid that she shows ass on all police cars traveled on.
- Your mother is so stupid that she hopes the jackpot every time she washed the bathroom.
- Your mother is so stupid that she always asks the bus driver for an autograph.
- Your mother is so stupid that she practiced deep diving with a lifejacket on.
- Your mother is so stupid that she played banjo skins on family reunion.
- Your mother is so stupid that she is full of eating vingummin.
- Your mother is so stupid that she always makes up the toilet seat when to shit.
- Your mother is so stupid that she learned Ellos directory without the.
- Your mother is so stupid that she collects dust wad.
- Your mother is so stupid that she changed the exhaust system of the cat.
- Your mother is so stupid that she spank herself if she was stupid.
- Your mother is so stupid, so she takes it the remote control to cinema.
- Your mother is so stupid that she tripped on a wireless phone.
- Your mother is so stupid that she thinks that the "Bus Change" is a hold location.
- Your mother is so stupid she called psycho home to post the herring.
- Your mother is so stupid that when she went to Disneyland and saw that it was "Left" so she went home again.
- Your mother is so stupid that she plank first and then pull the card.
- Your mother is so stupid that she does not remember the recipe for ice cubes.
- Your mother is so stupid that when you look at the film at home and the clock is much she says that you should be home and sleep.
- Your mom is so stupid, she got locked in a bathroom and pissed in her pants.
- Your mom is so stupid, she tried to steal free samples.
- Your mom is so stupid, she returned a doughnut because it had a hole in it.
- Your mom is so stupid, she has no feet and complains her shoes are too tight.
- Your mom is so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone.
- Your mom is so stupid, she set the VCR for 2 hours to record 60 minutes.
- Your mom is so stupid, she asked me "What does Yield mean?" and I said, "Slow down." And she said, slowly, "W H A T D O E S Y I E L D M E A N ?"
- Your mom is so stupid, she froze to death in a furnace.
- Your mom is so stupid, she burned to death in a freezer.
- Your mom is so stupid, she thought a paramedic was two doctors.
- Your mom is so stupid, she tried to change the channel on a TV dinner.
- Your mom is so stupid, she got stabbed at a shoot-out.
- Your mom is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Your mom is so fat:
- - Your mother is so fat that when her pager beeps, people think that it is a back of trucks.
- Your mother is so fat that if she had dressed in white, people might mistake her for the Michelin Man.
- Your mother is so fat that when she jumps Bungee jumping is the bridge with down.
- Your mother is so fat that when she tripped on Kungsgatan 10, she landed at Kungsgatan 20.
- Your mother is so fat that Vägverket mounted a "Warning: Brett towed" sign on her back.
- Your mother is so fat that it looks as if she is smuggling Volkswagnar.
- Your mother is so fat that when she takes on a Malcolm XT-shirt helicopters trying to land on her.
- Your mother is so fat that when she was on the beach and Greenpeace solade came and tried to shove her back down into the sea.
- Your mother is so fat that she uses color roles for painting with lipstick.
- Your mother is so fat that when she rises up on a wave to weigh themselves, announces the "One by one, thanks!"
- Your mother is so fat that I Vajda for not running at her with the car and the petrol ran out.
- Your mother is so fat that when she gets his shoes polished, she must be a little on their words.
- Your mother is so fat that when she went to the movies she sat next to everyone.
- Your mother is so fat that she could sell shade.
- Your mother is so fat that you can pat her on the thigh, and then surf the waves.
- Your mother is so fat that they had to baptize her in Kolmården dolphinarium.
- Your mother is so fat that when she photographed must take an aerial photograph.
- Your mother is so fat that if she jumps up in the air so she stuck.
- Your mother is so fat that her photograph weighs eight p.m. kg.
- Your mother is so fat that she has its own zip code.
- Your mother is so fat that when she fell as she waddle himself söms during the time she tried to come up again.
- Your mother is so fat that people spinning in circulation around her.
- Your mother is so fat that she has to use the garage as the driveway ironing board.
- Your mother is so fat that when she has a yellow raincoat, people shout as taxi after her.
- Your mother is so fat that she is as long, whether she is standing up or lying down.
- Your mother is so fat that her shadow weighs only 25 kilograms.
- Your mother is so fat that if the world would explode could use her as a substitute.
- Your mother is so fat that she knocked over the family tree.
- Your mother is so fat that she goes into the people she is seated.
- Your mother is so fat that when she took on a Coca-Cola T-shirt and went out tried a passing put money in her navel.
- Your mother is so fat that when she bathed in the sea claimed a Spaniard that he discovered a new continent.
- Your mother is so fat that when she died was the broadening PEARLY GATES.
- Your mother is so fat that she has to buy group insurance.
- Your mother is so fat that Hurricane Fran was just a sneeze from your mother.
- Your mother is so fat that she has a watch on each arm, with different time zones.
- Your mother is so fat that she has no dreams, she has movies.
- Your mother is so fat that she was caught when she fell down into the Grand Canyon.
- Your mother is so fat that her belt is called the equator.
- Your mother is so fat that her crabs have Duplex apartment.
- Your mother is so fat that if she skips it becomes earthquake.
- Your mother is so fat that when she bathed, so goes boats aground.
- Your mother is so fat that the class photo, she sat next to everyone.
- Your mother is so fat that you can not decide which side of the road she goes on.
- Your mother is so fat when she goes to dance as the band stops playing.
- Your mother is so fat that when she crosses the transition must instead motorists look out the window.
- Your mother is so fat that pizza bid was used trucks.
- Your mother is so fat that when she turned on the organized a "Welcome back!"-Fest.
- Your mother is so fat that when her pager beeps, people think that she should go back.
- Your mother is so fat that when she would hang up his portrait raged throughout the house.
- Your mother is so fat that when she played hide and seek as a child she was always counting.
- Your mother is so fat that when she springar start car alarm shriek.
- Your mother is so fat she uses a sock for each toe.
- Your mother is so fat that when the police showed a picture of her feet, she could not identify them.
- Your mother is so fat that the only full-size image they have of her is taken by satellite.
- Your mother is so fat that when she sat in a Monstertruck was the point on all wheels.
- Your mother is so fat that they had to change "One size fits all" to "One size fits all except your mother."
- Your mother is so fat that she uses bowling ball, which rings in the ears.
- Your mother is so fat that after she had trampled on a cat's tail was a beaver.
- Your mother is so fat that her clothes are made by architects.
- Your mother is so fat that when she fell off the boat wrote a sailor "Land in sight!".
- Your mother is so fat that her ass has its own full-time lawyer.
- Your mother is so fat that the underground trolley is the "Maximum number of passengers: 60 or your mother!".
- Your mother is so fat that when she is in a lift, it must go down.
- Your mother is so fat that when she jumped Bungee jumping she came to hell.
- Your mother is so fat that she has to put his skärpet with a boomerang.
- Your mother is so fat that she built on her living room to a refrigerator.
- Your mother is so fat that she uses the Levi's in 1002.
- Your mother is so fat that she did not get the main role in Forrest Gump because she just continued to eat chocolate all the time.
- Your mother is so fat her nickname is "Damn!".
- Your mother is so fat people jog around her for exercise.
- Your mother is so fat that when she went to the movies she sat next to everyone.
- Your mother is so fat that when she has sex she gives orders.
- Your mother is so fat that she must carry with them a sign that says "Warning: Sharp curve!" on.
- Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she sits around the house.
- Your mother is so fat that when she sits on your stereo you can hear not the music.
- Your mother is so fat that she has its own zip code.
- Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the beach the tide falling in too fast.
- Your mother is so fat that Bill Gates could not afford to pay her fetsugning.
- Your mother is so fat that the U.S. pays developing countries money to take her shit.
- Your mother is so fat she wakes up gradually to body parts.
- Your mother is so fat that when she is on the beach, no other sol.
- Your mother is so fat her braces used for Bungee jumping.
- Your mother is so fat that she may go in a jumbo jet when to travel.
- Your mother is so fat the animals at the zoo tried to feed her.
- Your mother is so fat that when she went to "Eat as much as you can 'buffet had to install the speed limit.
- Your mother is so fat that she does not reach the back pocket.
- Your mother is so fat that she uses mattresses tampons.
- Your mother is so fat that when she would play in ET and cycled in front of the moon caused she a solar eclipse.
- Your mother is so fat that when she was hit by a bus, she asked "Who threw a stone at me?".
- Your mother is so fat that when she swims in the sea, the Blue Whale up and start singing "We Are Family".
- Your mother is so fat that she needed a guided tour to find his ass.
- Your mother is so fat that when I had had sex with her, I could not get off.
- Your mother is so fat that when she showers her feet are not wet.
- Your mother is so fat that I can have sex with her in the position any time, it is still a "Doggy style".
- Your mother is so fat you sat and watched TV and she went over, you missed three programs.
- Your mother is so fat that after I had had sex with her so I tried to roll to the side three times but was still on her.
- Your mother is so fat that when to draw on her so it is necessary to use aerial photograph.
- Your mother is so fat, on the road to school, I thought it was a school bus that came, but it was only your mother who had a yellow shirt.
- Your mother is so fat that I am not even able to bear with me a photo I took of her when she is naked.
- Your mother is so fat that when she was on the ground, she asked "Where is the ground?".
- Your mother is so fat that every time she walks by the TV you missed five television programs.
- Your mother is so fat that she broke her legs when she would stand up.
- Your mother is so fat that when she bathed in the swimming pool the kids thought that they had found an island
- Your mother is so fat, when she is on the scales, it is her phone number.
- Your mother is so fat that she may block discount when she goes to a restaurant.
- Your mother is so fat that her blood is mayonnaise.
- Your mother is so fat that when she falls out of bed as she falls from both sides.
- Your mother is so fat, so when she stands on the scales it says "future, follow".
- Your mother is so fat that when she stood up so caused had a solar eclipse.
- Your mother is so fat that when the phone rang, she thought it was food in the microwave that was clear.
- Your mother is so fat that the military used her panties as false sleeves.
- Your mother is so fat that she uses your bed mattress that tampon.
- Your mom is so fat, she lacks a nutritious diet and doesn't get enough exercise
- Your mom is so fat, when she sat on memory foam, it forgot.
- Your mom is so fat, she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in.
- Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the beach, people yell out, "Whale Sighting!"
- Your mom is so fat, she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy.
- Your mom is so fat, she influences the tides.
- Your mom is so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in.
- Your mom is so fat, she has her own zip code.
- Your mom is so fat, she lives in two time zones.
- Your mom is so fat, it takes a train to get on her good side.
- Your mom is so fat, that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
- Your mom is so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
- Your mom is so fat, whenever she turns around they throw a welcome-back party.
- Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around its her birthday.
- Your mom is so fat, she jumps up in the air and gets stuck.
- Your mom is so fat, when she jumps she ends up in Australia.
- Your mom is so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
- Your mom is so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: California, Nevada, Arizona…
- Your mom is so fat, when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th.
- Your mom is so fat, when she dances the band skips.
- Your mom is so fat, she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals.
- Your mom is so fat, every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil.
- Your mom is so fat, every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil.
- Your mom is so fat, when she steps on a scale it reads, "One at a time, please."
- Your mom is so fat, when she steps on a scale it reads, "To be continued."
- Your mom is so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the fuck off.
- Your mom is so fat, she thought gravy was a beverage.
- Your mom is so fat, I took her to dinner and the waitress took her order in shorthand
- Your mom is so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
- Your mom is so fat, she went to the salad bar and pulled up a chair.
- Your mom is so fat, when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet they have to install speed bumps.
- Your mom is so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay!"
- Your mom is so fat, she broke her leg and gravy poured out.
- Your mom is so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
- Your mom is so fat, the only wiener she'll ever get is a hot dog.
- Your mom is so fat, her first love was Krispy Kreme.
- Your mom is so fat, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a tooth pick.
- Your mom is so fat, she has to use a satellite dish as a cereal bowl.
- Your mom is so fat, she thinks that Niagara Falls is a drinking fountain.
- Your mom is so fat, McDonald's set up shop in her house.
- Your mom is so fat, her best friends are Ronald McDonald, Burger King and Betty Crocker.
- Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call out to her, "Taxi!"
- Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow coat she looks like a school bus.
- Your mom is so fat, she has an sign on her back that says "wide load".
- Your mom is so fat, when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
- Your mom is so fat, she sets off car alarms when she runs.
- Your mom is so fat, when her beeper goes off people think she’s backing up.
- Your mom is so fat, she bungee jumps and falls straight to Hell.
- Your mom is so fat, when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too.
- Your mom is so fat, they use her underwear elastic for bungee jumping.
- Your mom is so fat, when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
- Your mom is so fat, even the AIDS quilt wouldn't cover her.
- Your mom is so fat, she has a run in her blue-jeans.
- Your mom is so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.
- Your mom is so fat, when she took her dress to the cleaner they said, "Sorry, but we don't do curtains."
- Your mom is so fat, she's got to iron her pants on the driveway.
- Your mom is so fat, she has to wear Levi’s 1002s.
- Your mom is so fat, when she wears white, she looks like the Michelin man.
- Your mom is so fat, when she wears red, she looks like the Kool-Aid man.
- Your mom is so fat, when she wears an "X" helicopters land on her.
- Your mom is so fat, she's got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
- Your mom is so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.
- Your mom is so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
- Your mom is so fat, she needs a boomerang to put her belt on.
- Your mom is so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the New World.
- Your mom is so fat, we get a drought every time she takes a shower.
- Your mom is so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
- Your mom is so fat, she uses the Freeway as a Slip ’n’ Slide.
- Your mom is so fat, she’s still waiting for someone to fill the Grand Canyon so she can take a bath.
- Your mom is so fat, they have to grease the bath tub to get her out.
- Your mom is so fat, you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
- Your mom is so fat, she went to Disneyland and got group discounts.
- Your mom is so fat, Santa asked her to cover for him.
- Your mom is so fat, when she sits around the house, she literally sits AROUND the house.
- Your mom is so fat, every time she walks her butt claps.
- Your mom is so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
- Your mom is so fat, when she falls out of bed she falls on both sides.
- Your mom is so fat, her will states that she wants to be donated to Ripley's Believe It or Not.
- Your mom is so fat, you need a Thomas Guide to find her asshole.
- Your mom is so fat, when she walked past the television, I missed three episodes.
- Your mom is so fat, she got stuck in the garage.
- Your mom is so fat, when she was a kid she could only play seek.
- Your mom is so fat, it took five UFOs to abduct her.
- Your mom is so fat, we're in her right now.
- Your mom is so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
- Your mom is so fat, when you get on top of her your ears pop.
- Your mom is so fat, when she has sex she has to give directions.
- Your mom is so fat, she wakes up in sections.
- Your mom is so fat, when she goes to an amusement park people try to ride HER.
- Your mom is so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book.
- Your mom is so fat, that her senior pictures had to be arial views.
- Your mom is so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.
- Your mom is so fat, when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
- Your mom is so fat, the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures.
- Your mom is so fat, they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
- Your mom is so fat, that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
- Your mom is so fat, the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts.
- Your mom is so fat, she was Miss Arizona...class Battleship.
- Your mom is so fat, she was zoned for commercial development.
- Your mom is so fat, her nickname is "DAAAMN!"
- Your mom is so fat, she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.
- Your mom is so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
- Your mom is so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
- Your mom is so fat, she ordered a double room for a singles weekend.
- Your mom is so fat, she had her ears pierced by harpoon.
- Your mom is so fat, that I really don't need to make a joke, it sells it self.
- Your mom is so fat, she makes Shay look like the Olsen Twins.
- Your mom is so fat, that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
- Your mom is so fat, the only armor she can use in World of Warcraft is of the whale.
- Your mom is so fat, NASA is planning a mission to put a man on her.
- Your mom is so fat, miners dig for diamonds in her footprints.
- Your mom is so fat, she has to live on another planet.
- Your mom is so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh-eating variant of Staphlococcus aureus, the doctor gave her five years to live.
- Your mom is so fat, no one can talk behind her back.
- Your mom is so fat, when she went to a dating service, they matched her up with Detroit.
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I've decided to make a thread where you can found more than 200 yo mamma jokes!
If you errors in the text, please PM me!
I hope you all like these jokes!
You will see many errors and bad grammar on these sentences, so please tell me where they are, because I tried to translate from Swedish to English!
So sorry for the grammar and errors in the text!
I think I'll add new jokes later..
You can check the orginal Swedish Yo mamma jokes at Din mamma skämt!
Credits:
- Cykotitan (For telling me new jokes) ^^
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Your mother is so stupid:
- Your mother is so stupid that when she sits in the audience at the football game she gets the red card.
- Your mother is so stupid that she got a knife cut in a gun duel.
- Your mother is so stupid that she was fired from the M & M factory because she threw away all the W: P.
- Your mother is so stupid she got hit by a parked car.
- Your mother is so stupid that she thinks that it is ice cubes to keep the refrigerator cold.
- Your mother is so stupid she took a blood test and received the IG.
- Your mother is so stupid it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes!
- Your mother is so stupid that she went to a restaurant, looked at the menu and said "OK!".
- Your mother is so stupid that when she went to discot which must be over 18, she brings 17 friends.
- Your mother is so stupid that she can not read a Kassettbok.
- Your mother is so stupid that she thinks that the last meal is when the National Coupons are final.
- Your mother is so stupid that she gave the monk because it was a hole in it.
- Your mother is so stupid that she calls directory inquiry to get the number to 112.
- Your mother is so stupid that she thought that the Salvation Army won the war.
- Your mother is so stupid that she stood on a chair to raise her Intelligence Quotient.
- Your mother is so stupid that she has to go into another room only to change their minds.
- Your mother is so stupid that she eats soup with Chinese sticks.
- Your mother is so stupid that she invented the sliding doors for submarines.
- Your mother is so stupid that she tripped over a cordless phone.
- Your mother is so stupid that she sold the car for the money for petrol.
- Your mother is so stupid that she threw a rock at the floor and missed.
- Your mother is so stupid it took her 50 to take driving lessons because she could not get used to sit in the front seat.
- Your mother is so stupid that she is fasting in a broken elevator for three hours.
- Your mother is so stupid that she tried to drown a fish.
- Your mother is so stupid she bought a flashlight that goes on photovoltaics.
- Your mother is so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
- Your mother is so stupid that she thinks that the Jehovah's Witnesses work in court.
- Your mother is so stupid that she was born on New Year's Day and can not remember her birthday.
- Your mother is so stupid that she went into an antique shop and asked, "Anything new?" '.
- Your mother is so stupid that when she read "Do not write below the dotted line" on the work increase, she wrote "OK".
- Your mother is so stupid that she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds.
- Your mother is so stupid that it takes hours for her to cook instant macaroni.
- Your mother is so stupid that she sat on the TV and watched the couch.
- Your mother is so stupid she jumped out of the skyscraper and fell over.
- Your mother is so stupid that she calls to directory inquiry to get the number for directory inquiries.
- Your mother is so stupid that when she was locked in the bathroom she peed on it.
- Your mother is so stupid that she is a lesbian and fell in love with a gay.
- Your mother is so stupid that she took the 14 girlfriends to a child forbidden cinema.
- Your mother is so stupid to archaeologists trying to dig for her IQ.
- Your mother is so stupid that she tried to put M & M in the alphabet.
- Your mother is so stupid she asked you the number to 112.
- Your mother is so stupid that she used a ruler to see how long she slept.
- Your mother is so stupid that she tried to steal free McDonald's-balloons.
- Your mother is so stupid that when she goes to watch her match all the time on the judge.
- Your mother is so stupid that she thought the group Boys II, however, was a youth center.
- Your mother is so stupid she bought a video camera to record cable TV programs in the country next door.
- Your mother is so stupid that she burned to a CD recorder.
- Your mother is so stupid that when she jumped out the window she fell over.
- Your mother is so stupid that when she took an umbrella when she would see "SLEEPLESS in Seattle."
- Your mother is so stupid that she write this when she sees Disney Day.
- Your mother is so stupid she climbed over a transparent glass wall to see what was on the other side.
- Your mother is so stupid that she uses the Tipp-Ex when she writes on the computer.
- Your mother is so stupid that she stamps their email.
- Your mother is so stupid that she sat in an hour and looked at the juice-packaging, because it was "concentrated".
- Your mother is so stupid that she gave birth to you.
- Your mother is so stupid that she tried to drown a fish.
- Your mother is so stupid that when the computer said "Press any key to continue" found she was not "any key".
- Your mother is so stupid that she sold the house to pay the rent.
- Your mother is so stupid that she sends thanks-for-last-card to the dentist.
- Your mother is so stupid that she leaves in his clothes to the tailor as soon as he loses a key.
- Your mother is so stupid she locked the bathroom door from outside instand of inside.
- Your mother is so stupid that she test the smoke before he goes to bed every night.
- Your mother is so stupid that she put balls in the ball mouse.
- Your mother is so stupid that she goes to Åhléns disc department to buy plasterboard.
- Your mother is so stupid she sits on a suppository when all chairs are occupied.
- Your mother is so stupid that she tries to get the word älgmule as many times as possible in their daily vocabulary.
- Your mother is so stupid that she takes with the computer to weight watchers because he thinks it is so great.
- Your mother is so stupid that she spit on the computer screen each time it is wearing.
- Your mother is so stupid that she check count their teeth every night.
- Your mother is so stupid that she thinks that coconut is a SIAMESE cow.
- Your mother is so stupid that she gets embarrassed every time a newscaster say, "Good evening!".
- Your mother is so stupid that she speaks in the mouth of himself.
- Your mother is so stupid that she fake orgasm when masturbating.
- Your mother is so stupid that she plays video games against blind people.
- Your mother is so stupid that she went to the moon in order to train the moon walk.
- Your mother is so stupid that she thought that she has ended up at a party when she went into the Systembolaget.
- Your mother is so stupid that she thinks that all Hells Angels members are kramgoa.
- Your mother is so stupid that she applied for a loan of sperm bank.
- Your mother is so stupid that she shoots storks to prevent overpopulation of the earth.
- Your mother is so stupid that she turns a blind eye when she was driving.
- Your mother is so stupid that she thinks that Ronald McDonald is cool.
- Your mother is so stupid that she believes that all Black is made of YUMMY chocolate.
- Your mother is so stupid that she became dizzy when she was watching a Polkagrisen.
- Your mother is so stupid that she was using the bow on the dart game.
- Your mother is so stupid that she tries to liberate all the evening newspapers
- Your mother is so stupid that she demanded to get MVG + + + rating in the math.
- Your mother is so stupid that she sleeps with an air bag, in case she would fall out of bed.
- Your mother is so stupid that she FULLY all matches on Ironing hint.
- Your mother is so stupid that she shows ass on all police cars traveled on.
- Your mother is so stupid that she hopes the jackpot every time she washed the bathroom.
- Your mother is so stupid that she always asks the bus driver for an autograph.
- Your mother is so stupid that she practiced deep diving with a lifejacket on.
- Your mother is so stupid that she played banjo skins on family reunion.
- Your mother is so stupid that she is full of eating vingummin.
- Your mother is so stupid that she always makes up the toilet seat when to shit.
- Your mother is so stupid that she learned Ellos directory without the.
- Your mother is so stupid that she collects dust wad.
- Your mother is so stupid that she changed the exhaust system of the cat.
- Your mother is so stupid that she spank herself if she was stupid.
- Your mother is so stupid, so she takes it the remote control to cinema.
- Your mother is so stupid that she tripped on a wireless phone.
- Your mother is so stupid that she thinks that the "Bus Change" is a hold location.
- Your mother is so stupid she called psycho home to post the herring.
- Your mother is so stupid that when she went to Disneyland and saw that it was "Left" so she went home again.
- Your mother is so stupid that she plank first and then pull the card.
- Your mother is so stupid that she does not remember the recipe for ice cubes.
- Your mother is so stupid that when you look at the film at home and the clock is much she says that you should be home and sleep.
- Your mom is so stupid, she got locked in a bathroom and pissed in her pants.
- Your mom is so stupid, she tried to steal free samples.
- Your mom is so stupid, she returned a doughnut because it had a hole in it.
- Your mom is so stupid, she has no feet and complains her shoes are too tight.
- Your mom is so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone.
- Your mom is so stupid, she set the VCR for 2 hours to record 60 minutes.
- Your mom is so stupid, she asked me "What does Yield mean?" and I said, "Slow down." And she said, slowly, "W H A T D O E S Y I E L D M E A N ?"
- Your mom is so stupid, she froze to death in a furnace.
- Your mom is so stupid, she burned to death in a freezer.
- Your mom is so stupid, she thought a paramedic was two doctors.
- Your mom is so stupid, she tried to change the channel on a TV dinner.
- Your mom is so stupid, she got stabbed at a shoot-out.
- Your mom is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Your mom is so fat:
- - Your mother is so fat that when her pager beeps, people think that it is a back of trucks.
- Your mother is so fat that if she had dressed in white, people might mistake her for the Michelin Man.
- Your mother is so fat that when she jumps Bungee jumping is the bridge with down.
- Your mother is so fat that when she tripped on Kungsgatan 10, she landed at Kungsgatan 20.
- Your mother is so fat that Vägverket mounted a "Warning: Brett towed" sign on her back.
- Your mother is so fat that it looks as if she is smuggling Volkswagnar.
- Your mother is so fat that when she takes on a Malcolm XT-shirt helicopters trying to land on her.
- Your mother is so fat that when she was on the beach and Greenpeace solade came and tried to shove her back down into the sea.
- Your mother is so fat that she uses color roles for painting with lipstick.
- Your mother is so fat that when she rises up on a wave to weigh themselves, announces the "One by one, thanks!"
- Your mother is so fat that I Vajda for not running at her with the car and the petrol ran out.
- Your mother is so fat that when she gets his shoes polished, she must be a little on their words.
- Your mother is so fat that when she went to the movies she sat next to everyone.
- Your mother is so fat that she could sell shade.
- Your mother is so fat that you can pat her on the thigh, and then surf the waves.
- Your mother is so fat that they had to baptize her in Kolmården dolphinarium.
- Your mother is so fat that when she photographed must take an aerial photograph.
- Your mother is so fat that if she jumps up in the air so she stuck.
- Your mother is so fat that her photograph weighs eight p.m. kg.
- Your mother is so fat that she has its own zip code.
- Your mother is so fat that when she fell as she waddle himself söms during the time she tried to come up again.
- Your mother is so fat that people spinning in circulation around her.
- Your mother is so fat that she has to use the garage as the driveway ironing board.
- Your mother is so fat that when she has a yellow raincoat, people shout as taxi after her.
- Your mother is so fat that she is as long, whether she is standing up or lying down.
- Your mother is so fat that her shadow weighs only 25 kilograms.
- Your mother is so fat that if the world would explode could use her as a substitute.
- Your mother is so fat that she knocked over the family tree.
- Your mother is so fat that she goes into the people she is seated.
- Your mother is so fat that when she took on a Coca-Cola T-shirt and went out tried a passing put money in her navel.
- Your mother is so fat that when she bathed in the sea claimed a Spaniard that he discovered a new continent.
- Your mother is so fat that when she died was the broadening PEARLY GATES.
- Your mother is so fat that she has to buy group insurance.
- Your mother is so fat that Hurricane Fran was just a sneeze from your mother.
- Your mother is so fat that she has a watch on each arm, with different time zones.
- Your mother is so fat that she has no dreams, she has movies.
- Your mother is so fat that she was caught when she fell down into the Grand Canyon.
- Your mother is so fat that her belt is called the equator.
- Your mother is so fat that her crabs have Duplex apartment.
- Your mother is so fat that if she skips it becomes earthquake.
- Your mother is so fat that when she bathed, so goes boats aground.
- Your mother is so fat that the class photo, she sat next to everyone.
- Your mother is so fat that you can not decide which side of the road she goes on.
- Your mother is so fat when she goes to dance as the band stops playing.
- Your mother is so fat that when she crosses the transition must instead motorists look out the window.
- Your mother is so fat that pizza bid was used trucks.
- Your mother is so fat that when she turned on the organized a "Welcome back!"-Fest.
- Your mother is so fat that when her pager beeps, people think that she should go back.
- Your mother is so fat that when she would hang up his portrait raged throughout the house.
- Your mother is so fat that when she played hide and seek as a child she was always counting.
- Your mother is so fat that when she springar start car alarm shriek.
- Your mother is so fat she uses a sock for each toe.
- Your mother is so fat that when the police showed a picture of her feet, she could not identify them.
- Your mother is so fat that the only full-size image they have of her is taken by satellite.
- Your mother is so fat that when she sat in a Monstertruck was the point on all wheels.
- Your mother is so fat that they had to change "One size fits all" to "One size fits all except your mother."
- Your mother is so fat that she uses bowling ball, which rings in the ears.
- Your mother is so fat that after she had trampled on a cat's tail was a beaver.
- Your mother is so fat that her clothes are made by architects.
- Your mother is so fat that when she fell off the boat wrote a sailor "Land in sight!".
- Your mother is so fat that her ass has its own full-time lawyer.
- Your mother is so fat that the underground trolley is the "Maximum number of passengers: 60 or your mother!".
- Your mother is so fat that when she is in a lift, it must go down.
- Your mother is so fat that when she jumped Bungee jumping she came to hell.
- Your mother is so fat that she has to put his skärpet with a boomerang.
- Your mother is so fat that she built on her living room to a refrigerator.
- Your mother is so fat that she uses the Levi's in 1002.
- Your mother is so fat that she did not get the main role in Forrest Gump because she just continued to eat chocolate all the time.
- Your mother is so fat her nickname is "Damn!".
- Your mother is so fat people jog around her for exercise.
- Your mother is so fat that when she went to the movies she sat next to everyone.
- Your mother is so fat that when she has sex she gives orders.
- Your mother is so fat that she must carry with them a sign that says "Warning: Sharp curve!" on.
- Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she sits around the house.
- Your mother is so fat that when she sits on your stereo you can hear not the music.
- Your mother is so fat that she has its own zip code.
- Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the beach the tide falling in too fast.
- Your mother is so fat that Bill Gates could not afford to pay her fetsugning.
- Your mother is so fat that the U.S. pays developing countries money to take her shit.
- Your mother is so fat she wakes up gradually to body parts.
- Your mother is so fat that when she is on the beach, no other sol.
- Your mother is so fat her braces used for Bungee jumping.
- Your mother is so fat that she may go in a jumbo jet when to travel.
- Your mother is so fat the animals at the zoo tried to feed her.
- Your mother is so fat that when she went to "Eat as much as you can 'buffet had to install the speed limit.
- Your mother is so fat that she does not reach the back pocket.
- Your mother is so fat that she uses mattresses tampons.
- Your mother is so fat that when she would play in ET and cycled in front of the moon caused she a solar eclipse.
- Your mother is so fat that when she was hit by a bus, she asked "Who threw a stone at me?".
- Your mother is so fat that when she swims in the sea, the Blue Whale up and start singing "We Are Family".
- Your mother is so fat that she needed a guided tour to find his ass.
- Your mother is so fat that when I had had sex with her, I could not get off.
- Your mother is so fat that when she showers her feet are not wet.
- Your mother is so fat that I can have sex with her in the position any time, it is still a "Doggy style".
- Your mother is so fat you sat and watched TV and she went over, you missed three programs.
- Your mother is so fat that after I had had sex with her so I tried to roll to the side three times but was still on her.
- Your mother is so fat that when to draw on her so it is necessary to use aerial photograph.
- Your mother is so fat, on the road to school, I thought it was a school bus that came, but it was only your mother who had a yellow shirt.
- Your mother is so fat that I am not even able to bear with me a photo I took of her when she is naked.
- Your mother is so fat that when she was on the ground, she asked "Where is the ground?".
- Your mother is so fat that every time she walks by the TV you missed five television programs.
- Your mother is so fat that she broke her legs when she would stand up.
- Your mother is so fat that when she bathed in the swimming pool the kids thought that they had found an island
- Your mother is so fat, when she is on the scales, it is her phone number.
- Your mother is so fat that she may block discount when she goes to a restaurant.
- Your mother is so fat that her blood is mayonnaise.
- Your mother is so fat that when she falls out of bed as she falls from both sides.
- Your mother is so fat, so when she stands on the scales it says "future, follow".
- Your mother is so fat that when she stood up so caused had a solar eclipse.
- Your mother is so fat that when the phone rang, she thought it was food in the microwave that was clear.
- Your mother is so fat that the military used her panties as false sleeves.
- Your mother is so fat that she uses your bed mattress that tampon.
- Your mom is so fat, she lacks a nutritious diet and doesn't get enough exercise
- Your mom is so fat, when she sat on memory foam, it forgot.
- Your mom is so fat, she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in.
- Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the beach, people yell out, "Whale Sighting!"
- Your mom is so fat, she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy.
- Your mom is so fat, she influences the tides.
- Your mom is so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in.
- Your mom is so fat, she has her own zip code.
- Your mom is so fat, she lives in two time zones.
- Your mom is so fat, it takes a train to get on her good side.
- Your mom is so fat, that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
- Your mom is so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
- Your mom is so fat, whenever she turns around they throw a welcome-back party.
- Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around its her birthday.
- Your mom is so fat, she jumps up in the air and gets stuck.
- Your mom is so fat, when she jumps she ends up in Australia.
- Your mom is so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
- Your mom is so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: California, Nevada, Arizona…
- Your mom is so fat, when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th.
- Your mom is so fat, when she dances the band skips.
- Your mom is so fat, she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals.
- Your mom is so fat, every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil.
- Your mom is so fat, every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil.
- Your mom is so fat, when she steps on a scale it reads, "One at a time, please."
- Your mom is so fat, when she steps on a scale it reads, "To be continued."
- Your mom is so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the fuck off.
- Your mom is so fat, she thought gravy was a beverage.
- Your mom is so fat, I took her to dinner and the waitress took her order in shorthand
- Your mom is so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
- Your mom is so fat, she went to the salad bar and pulled up a chair.
- Your mom is so fat, when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet they have to install speed bumps.
- Your mom is so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay!"
- Your mom is so fat, she broke her leg and gravy poured out.
- Your mom is so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
- Your mom is so fat, the only wiener she'll ever get is a hot dog.
- Your mom is so fat, her first love was Krispy Kreme.
- Your mom is so fat, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a tooth pick.
- Your mom is so fat, she has to use a satellite dish as a cereal bowl.
- Your mom is so fat, she thinks that Niagara Falls is a drinking fountain.
- Your mom is so fat, McDonald's set up shop in her house.
- Your mom is so fat, her best friends are Ronald McDonald, Burger King and Betty Crocker.
- Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call out to her, "Taxi!"
- Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow coat she looks like a school bus.
- Your mom is so fat, she has an sign on her back that says "wide load".
- Your mom is so fat, when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
- Your mom is so fat, she sets off car alarms when she runs.
- Your mom is so fat, when her beeper goes off people think she’s backing up.
- Your mom is so fat, she bungee jumps and falls straight to Hell.
- Your mom is so fat, when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too.
- Your mom is so fat, they use her underwear elastic for bungee jumping.
- Your mom is so fat, when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
- Your mom is so fat, even the AIDS quilt wouldn't cover her.
- Your mom is so fat, she has a run in her blue-jeans.
- Your mom is so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.
- Your mom is so fat, when she took her dress to the cleaner they said, "Sorry, but we don't do curtains."
- Your mom is so fat, she's got to iron her pants on the driveway.
- Your mom is so fat, she has to wear Levi’s 1002s.
- Your mom is so fat, when she wears white, she looks like the Michelin man.
- Your mom is so fat, when she wears red, she looks like the Kool-Aid man.
- Your mom is so fat, when she wears an "X" helicopters land on her.
- Your mom is so fat, she's got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
- Your mom is so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.
- Your mom is so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
- Your mom is so fat, she needs a boomerang to put her belt on.
- Your mom is so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the New World.
- Your mom is so fat, we get a drought every time she takes a shower.
- Your mom is so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
- Your mom is so fat, she uses the Freeway as a Slip ’n’ Slide.
- Your mom is so fat, she’s still waiting for someone to fill the Grand Canyon so she can take a bath.
- Your mom is so fat, they have to grease the bath tub to get her out.
- Your mom is so fat, you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
- Your mom is so fat, she went to Disneyland and got group discounts.
- Your mom is so fat, Santa asked her to cover for him.
- Your mom is so fat, when she sits around the house, she literally sits AROUND the house.
- Your mom is so fat, every time she walks her butt claps.
- Your mom is so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
- Your mom is so fat, when she falls out of bed she falls on both sides.
- Your mom is so fat, her will states that she wants to be donated to Ripley's Believe It or Not.
- Your mom is so fat, you need a Thomas Guide to find her asshole.
- Your mom is so fat, when she walked past the television, I missed three episodes.
- Your mom is so fat, she got stuck in the garage.
- Your mom is so fat, when she was a kid she could only play seek.
- Your mom is so fat, it took five UFOs to abduct her.
- Your mom is so fat, we're in her right now.
- Your mom is so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
- Your mom is so fat, when you get on top of her your ears pop.
- Your mom is so fat, when she has sex she has to give directions.
- Your mom is so fat, she wakes up in sections.
- Your mom is so fat, when she goes to an amusement park people try to ride HER.
- Your mom is so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book.
- Your mom is so fat, that her senior pictures had to be arial views.
- Your mom is so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.
- Your mom is so fat, when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
- Your mom is so fat, the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures.
- Your mom is so fat, they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
- Your mom is so fat, that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
- Your mom is so fat, the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts.
- Your mom is so fat, she was Miss Arizona...class Battleship.
- Your mom is so fat, she was zoned for commercial development.
- Your mom is so fat, her nickname is "DAAAMN!"
- Your mom is so fat, she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.
- Your mom is so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
- Your mom is so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
- Your mom is so fat, she ordered a double room for a singles weekend.
- Your mom is so fat, she had her ears pierced by harpoon.
- Your mom is so fat, that I really don't need to make a joke, it sells it self.
- Your mom is so fat, she makes Shay look like the Olsen Twins.
- Your mom is so fat, that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
- Your mom is so fat, the only armor she can use in World of Warcraft is of the whale.
- Your mom is so fat, NASA is planning a mission to put a man on her.
- Your mom is so fat, miners dig for diamonds in her footprints.
- Your mom is so fat, she has to live on another planet.
- Your mom is so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh-eating variant of Staphlococcus aureus, the doctor gave her five years to live.
- Your mom is so fat, no one can talk behind her back.
- Your mom is so fat, when she went to a dating service, they matched her up with Detroit.
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