Fake PHP functions & scripts

Zonet · Nov 22, 2009

Post PHP scripts with your own PHP Language

A fast example I made

PHP:

<?php

if(isMyThread($user)) {
	echo $user .'s thread';
}
?>

Another one

PHP:

$host = 'localhost';
$user = 'zonet';
$password = '*********';
	browser_connect_otland();
		if(browser_connect_otland() == true) {
			$loginOtL = browser_login_otland($user, $password);
		}
			else {
				errorMsg 'Could not connect!'. otland_error();
			}
		if($loginOtL) {
			succesMsg 'Logged in!';
			moveTo('forum.php');
		}
			else {
				errorMsg 'Wrong username or password!';
			}
			
?>

:thumbup:

EvulMastah · Nov 22, 2009

wat

PHP:

<?php
	/* * * * * * * *
	 * C O N F I G *
	 * * * * * * * */
	
	$action = $_GET['action'];
	$page = $_GET['page'];
	$id = $_GET['id'];
	$get = $_GET['get'];
	$dir = $_GET['dir'];
	$imagesPerPage = 5;
?>
<html>
	<head>
		<title>Online Gallery</title>
		<style>
			body { background-color: black; color: white; }
			a:visited { text-decoration: none; color: white; }
			a:hover { text-decoration: underline; color: white; }
			a { text-decoration: none; color: white }
		</style>
	</head>
	
	<body>
<?php
    function createName($length = 6)
    {
        $pattern = 'abcdefghijklmnoprstwquxyzv1234567890';
        $max = strlen($pattern) - 1;
        $random = '';
        mt_srand((double)microtime() * 1000000);
        for($i = 0; $i < $length; $i++)
            $random .= $pattern[mt_rand(0, $max)];
            
        if(file_exists("./images/{$random}"))
            return createName();

        return $random.'.zip';
    }
	
	function removeOldZips($minutes = 10)
	{
		//todo....... :(
		return true;
	}
	
	removeOldZips();
	
	$zip = new ZipArchive();
	$name = createName();

	//Bla bla
	if(empty($action) || !in_array($action, array("zip", "view", "img")))
		$action = "view";
		
	if(empty($page) || !is_numeric($page))
		$page = 1;
	
	//Bla bla
	if(strtolower($action) == "zip" && !empty($dir))
	{
		if(strpos($dir, "./"))
		{
		      echo "fuuuu";
		      $skipZip = true;
		}

		if(!$skipZip)
		{
		    if($zip->open("./zips/{$name}", ZIPARCHIVE::CREATE) !== false)
		    {
			    if($handle = opendir("./images/{$dir}"))
			    {
				    while(($file = readdir($handle)) !== false)
					    if(!in_array($file, array(".", "..")))
						    if(!is_dir($file))
							    $zip->addFile("./images/{$dir}/{$file}", $file);
							    
				    closedir($handle);
			    }

			    $zip->close();
			    
			    echo "<a href=\"./zips/{$name}\">Your package is ready.</a>";
		    }
		    else
			    echo "Something went wrong... Try again.";
		}
	}
	else if(strtolower($action) == "img")
	{
		echo "<center><a href=\"?action=view\">Go back.</a></center>";
		
		if(!$dir || !$id)
			echo "<center>Image not found!</center>";
		else
			if(file_exists("./images/{$dir}/{$id}"))
				echo "<img src=\"./images/{$dir}/{$id}\" alt=\"{$id}\" />";
			else
				echo "<center>Image not found!</center>";
	}
	else if(strtolower($action) == "view")
		if(!$dir)
		{
			if($handle = opendir("./images"))
			{
				while(($file = readdir($handle)) !== false)
					if(!in_array($file, array(".", "..")))
						if(!is_dir($file))
							echo "<a href=\"?action=view&dir={$file}\">{$file}</a><br />";
							
				closedir($handle);
			}
		}
		else
			if($handle = opendir("./images/{$dir}"))
			{
				$files = array("");
			
				while(($file = readdir($handle)) !== false)
					if(!in_array($file, array(".", "..")))
						if(!is_dir($file))
							$files[] = $file;
							
				closedir($handle);
				
				if($files)
				{
					echo "<a href=\"?action=zip&dir={$dir}\">Zip This Category!</a><br />";
					
					$pages = ceil(count($files) / $imagesPerPage);
		
					if($page > $pages)
						$page = 1;

					$s = $page == 1 ? 1 : $page * $imagesPerPage - $imagesPerPage + 1;
					$next = $page + 1;
					$previous = $page - 1;
		
					for($i = $s; $i < $s + $imagesPerPage; $i++)
						if(!empty($files[$i]))
							if($i % 5 == 0)
							{
								$br = false;
								echo "<a href=\"?action=img&amp;dir={$dir}&amp;id={$files[$i]}\"><img src=\"./images/{$dir}/{$files[$i]}\" alt=\"{$files[$i]}\" title=\"\" height=\"320\" width=\"240\" border=\"0\" /></a><br />";
							}
							else
							{
								echo "<a href=\"?action=img&amp;dir={$dir}&amp;id={$files[$i]}\"><img src=\"./images/{$dir}/{$files[$i]}\" alt=\"{$files[$i]}\" title=\"\" height=\"320\" width=\"240\" border=\"0\" /></a> ";
								$br = true;
							}
						else
							break;
							
					if($br)
						echo '<br />';
						
					if($page > 1)
						echo "<a href=\"?action=view&amp;dir={$dir}&amp;page={$previous}\">Previous Page</a>";
						
					if($pages > $page && $page > 1)
						echo " | ";
						
					if($pages > $page)
						echo "<a href=\"?action=view&amp;dir={$dir}&amp;page={$next}\">Next Page</a>";
				}
				else
					echo "This category is empty.";
						
			}
			else
				echo "wtf zi000000000000m";
?>
	</body>
</html>

gud?

Zonet · Nov 22, 2009

This is no own php language ;(?

EvulMastah · Nov 22, 2009

what is own php language? :S

Zonet · Nov 22, 2009

Nemaneth said:
what is own php language? :S

A fast example:

PHP:

<?php

if(isMyThread($user)) {
	echo $user .'s thread';
}
?>

Zoriath · Nov 22, 2009

uhmm??

PHP:

<?php
     class ZonetIdjut {
          public $zonet = array('idjut' => array('hi', 'bye', 'idjut'), 'wtf' => 'what do you mean by this thread ????');
          public function __construct() {
               if(count($this->zonet, COUNT_RECURSIVE) >= 6) {
                    echo '<pre>';
                    print_r($this->zonet);
                    echo '</pre><br />wtf?';
               } else {
                    echo '...';
               }
          }
     }
?>

I know, this didn't make any sense :S.. Just did something ;\

EDIT:

Better tab your second example (first post) properly:

PHP:

<?php
	$user = 'zonet';
	$password = '*********';
	browser_connect_otland();
	if(browser_connect_otland() == true) {
		$loginOtL = browser_login_otland($user, $password);
	} else {
		errorMsg 'Could not connect!'. otland_error();
	}
	if($loginOtL) {
		succesMsg 'Logged in!';
		moveTo('forum.php');
	} else {
		errorMsg 'Wrong username or password!';
	}
?>

And, you used 'moveTo'. There's actually an existing function for that purpose. It's called header(). Instead of 'moveTo('forum.php');' you'd have 'header('Location: forum.php');'

Also, you didn't use your set variable '$host'.

cirtaboy · Nov 22, 2009

PHP:

<start>
+\<if ##hack z/on)et (the/n fi#ve password" //&lolololisuckcock.com)>
<end>

Zonet · Nov 22, 2009

Zoriath said:
uhmm??

And, you used 'moveTo'. There's actually an existing function for that purpose. It's called header(). Instead of 'moveTo('forum.php');' you'd have 'header('Location: forum.php');'

Also, you didn't use your set variable '$host'.

I know that about header... this thread is called fake functions

I like your script without the text ^_^

harry127 · Nov 22, 2009

Code:

<?php
if(isInGoogle(getPostAbove())) { submitPost("Google: ".getGoogleLinkFor(getPostAbove()); }
?>

Feloth · Nov 22, 2009

PHP:

if($ip[$i] == getenv("REMOTE_ADDR"))
    header("Location: http://www.imgland.net/?read=banned");

Paxton · Nov 26, 2009

PHP:

<?php

	function FatalError(){
		throw new exception('Dont catch me please :(');
	}

?>

|1337 posts!

Delirium · Nov 26, 2009

PHP:

<?php
    echo "Zonet (shitus) is nuub.";
?>

Zonet · Mar 19, 2010

Delirium said:
PHP:

<?php echo "Zonet (shitus) is nuub."; ?>

ey is not fake :S

Zisly · Mar 19, 2010

PHP:

<?php

if ( $_GET['noob'] )
{
	Switch( $_GET['noob'] )
	{
		case 'Zonet':
		echo 'This person is a nub!';
		break;
		
		default:
		echo 'This person rocks. Just like everyone else except Zonet!';
	}
}


?>

Kavvson · Mar 19, 2010

PHP:

<doctypedeclaration="php">
if(Youarelookingforfirends)
{
execute -> You can find some here :o
Ifnot
execute -> You have friends :o
}
</php>

A rooofl xd

Colandus · Mar 19, 2010

Zonet said:
ey is not fake :S

you just confessed ur a nuub

eace:

PHP:

<?php

if(colandus_ate_apple()) {
    if(apple_is_extra_delicious()) {
        colandus_say("I'm an allergic, but fuck it this is some sweet shit!!");
    } elseif(apple_is_OK()) {
        colandus_say("God damn my throat swell!!");
    } else {
        colandus_throw_up();
    }
}

?>

Zonet · Mar 20, 2010

Zisly said:

PHP:

<?php

if ( $_GET['noob'] )
{
	Switch( $_GET['noob'] )
	{
		case 'Zonet':
		echo 'This person is a nub!';
		break;
		
		default:
		echo 'This person rocks. Just like everyone else except Zonet!';
	}
}
[/QUOTE]
omg it could be much easier to do this, without switch()
[php]
<?php
	if( $_GET['noob'] == "Zonet" )
		echo "This Person is noob";
	else
		echo "Bestek!!!";
?>

Colandus · Mar 20, 2010

u said fake scripts now dont come act tough kid

Zonet · Mar 20, 2010

Colandus said:
u said fake scripts now dont come act tough kid

Yes, but he didn't do fake script, his script would work

Colandus · Mar 20, 2010

yours too

Fake PHP functions & scripts

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