I don't know this (the OTLand) community very well at all (only know a few people), so I honestly don't know anything about you. But I got the impression that maybe you're the kind of 'always nice' person that rather blame yourself than others, etc. And so I'd like to go out on a limb here and say that IF you are that kind of person that don't let yourself getting angry at others and you're going through depression now, that my honest advice is for you to actually let yourself get angry at this guy, and maybe others who have done you wrong in the past, and let that motivate you. Anger is dangerous when unmanaged and destructive when abused, but healthy and necessary in balanced levels (and 0 is not a balanced level), and a powerful motivating agent. When you're at the bottom and getting stomped by mother****ers, get angry to avoid unnecessary depression. That's my advice anyway. Had to share just in case it might be helpful. Sorry if it's not. I'll consider donating some change later on today when I'm on my personal computer (haven't completely made up my mind yet on what my policy is on donating money to strangers on the internet ) Either way I wish you the very best and stay strong!