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Atlas

Do you like the story?

  • Great Story

    Votes: 7 50.0%

  • No boring

    Votes: 7 50.0%
  • Total voters
    14
to Yalahar. Abyss then thought since none would aid him he would need to do what death said and destroy all the city's in Atlas and make it a wasteland but then before he was about to leave a brave captain Izac said he and his crew would go to Zoa but he would need to tell him why he told him his story and promised them all the treasure they wanted since he was king of all of Atlas but since Abyss was missing the thrown had no king so Abyss was though to have been killed so King Arthas VII to the thrown and kept the dark forces at bay but he was a cruel king and because of this the people suffered there were seven great lords that opposed him and because of this he banished them to different lands in Atlas.
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This all one sencence? XD
 
yes i hate punctuation i'm working on it though :P i get carried away in my thoughts and forget sometimes
 
I'm attempting not to rage at you.

Proper punctuation makes all the difference, it makes you sound mature and professional. People are more likely to take your work seriously when it involves proper grammar. I tried to read as much of your story as I could before I wanted to close my tab (disregarding the fact that you pretty much ripped the Heroland project). The story itself is weak, and with no real plot or backbone besides the idea of a hero. Writing a genesis on your server before you've even started production is pointless considering by the end you'll have adjusted the story a thousand times to fit what you are making. Good luck and don't copy Heroland.

Thanks for playing, please try again.
 
This had me fascinated, looking forward to seeing more of your work really soon..
 
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Why do you make a god damn big sentence that lasts a whole paragraph? :D I'd distinguish that.
 
preludes are weaks, I mean it doesn't have to do anything with OTs, you're just going to kill monsters and gain level lol
 
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