TalkAction [JOKE] !joke

[King Simon]

Hey Guys i recently started scripting and this is my second script so far. Basically when you say !joke it will send a joke.

Rep ++ if i helped

In talkactions.xml add this line

<talkaction words="!joke" event="script" value="Jokes.lua"/>

then add a new file in talkactions/scripts and name it Jokes.lua

inside add this code :

local jokes = {
  "I swear to drunk I'm not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school, and don't do vegetables.",
  "I named my hard drive 'dat ass' so once a month my computer asks if I want to 'back dat ass up'.",
  "If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are... you have small boobs.",
  "Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?",   
  "why do midgets laugh while running through the yard? The grass tickles their nuts",
  "I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.",
  "If you force sex on a prostitute is it rape or shoplifting?",
  "Scooters are for men who want to ride motorcycles, but prefer to feel the wind on their vaginas.",
  "I was at a restaurant and I noticed my waitress had a black eye. So I ordered very sloooowly because obviously she doesn't listen.",
  "Every time someone calls me fat I get so depress I cut myself... a piece of cake.",
  "Dear Santa,I've been good all year. Okay most of the time. Once in awhile...F*ck it I'll buy my own shit.",
  "A big shout out to sidewalks... Thanks for keeping me off the streets.",
  "you're a boob. just tittin. you're my breast friend.",
  "Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. 'Yes' is the answer.",
  "Never give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping.",
  "When I woke up today, I had no plans to be awesome but hey, shit happens.",
}
local i = #jokes  --- number of Jokes
function onSay(cid, words, param)
 doPlayerSendTextMessage(cid, 6, jokes[math.random(1,i)])
end

You can add ur own jokes in the lines


I also made this a globalevent for anyone who doesn't like the talkaction

in globalevents.xml add:

<globalevent name="Jokes" interval="1000" script="Jokes.lua"/>

change the interval to how often you want it to display.

then in globalevents/scripts add a new file called Jokes.lua

in this file add this code:

local jokes = {
  "I swear to drunk I'm not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school, and don't do vegetables.",
  "I named my hard drive 'dat ass' so once a month my computer asks if I want to 'back dat ass up'.",
  "If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are... you have small boobs.",
  "Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?",   
  "why do midgets laugh while running through the yard? The grass tickles their nuts",
  "I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.",
  "If you force sex on a prostitute is it rape or shoplifting?",
  "Scooters are for men who want to ride motorcycles, but prefer to feel the wind on their vaginas.",
  "I was at a restaurant and I noticed my waitress had a black eye. So I ordered very sloooowly because obviously she doesn't listen.",
  "Every time someone calls me fat I get so depress I cut myself... a piece of cake.",
  "Dear Santa,I've been good all year. Okay most of the time. Once in awhile...F*ck it I'll buy my own shit.",
  "A big shout out to sidewalks... Thanks for keeping me off the streets.",
  "you're a boob. just tittin. you're my breast friend.",
  "Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. 'Yes' is the answer.",
  "Never give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping.",
  "When I woke up today, I had no plans to be awesome but hey, shit happens.",
}
local i = #jokes  --- number of Jokes

function onThink(cid, interval, lastExecution)
    doBroadcastMessage("Joke: " .. jokes[math.random(1,i)],22)
    return TRUE
end

to add jokes just do the same thing as the talk action, and ur good to go

I tested this on tfs 0.3.6 and im not sure how any other distros work so if anyone has problems just post them here and hopefully someone can help you

Rep ++ if i helped

 

[szatan1x]

Good Work

 

[Amiroslo]

Good job

 

[4Muki4]

Good, but i recommend use lua tags

 

[UpInSmoke]

it can be made easier so you dont have to keep changing the value of i like so

local i = #jokes

 

[King Simon]

ahh thanks
i will update it as soon as i figure out how

- - - Updated - - -

Ok original post was edited so you no longer have to change the i value

 

[angelobodj]

Funny script! Well done

 

[King Simon]

Thanks

 

[Erexo]

You can simply set this:

function onSay(cid, words, param)
 doPlayerSendTextMessage(cid, 6, jokes[math.random(#jokes)])
end

Anyways, nice idea

 

[King Simon]

You can simply set this:

function onSay(cid, words, param)
 doPlayerSendTextMessage(cid, 6, jokes[math.random(#jokes)])
end

Anyways, nice idea

Haha thanks i appreciate you commenting as it improves my coding

 

[Snavy]

can anyone change this script to a MOd script?

thnx..

 

[tetra20]

doBroadcastMessage("Joke: " .. jokes[math.random(1,i)],[COLOR="#FF0000"]22[/COLOR])

Use Letters instead of 22

So it don't cause crash to some revs

- - - Updated - - -

can anyone change this script to a MOd script?

thnx..

Stop Being lazy it is just 2 files and 4 copy&paste..and you should be thankful to King Simon