Written by one of the survivors: (Quickly/drafted translated to English by Znote).
This is real, it is not a story. And may not be recommended for soft hearts to read.
-------------------------------------------
I have waken up. I cant sleep any more. I am sitting in the living room. Feeling grief, anger, luck, I don't know what. There is just too many feelings. It is too many thoughts. I am scared. I am reacting on every single sound. I will now write about what happen on Utøya. What my eyes saw, what I felt, what I did. The words will come straight from my liver, but I will at the same time anonymous many names in respect for my friends.
We had just been participating in a crisis meeting in the main building after the explosion in Oslo. After the meeting was many present around the main building. We comforted each other with that "we are safe on an island". Nobody knew that hell would unleash out with us too.
I was standing in the main building when the panic unleashed. I heard bullets being shot everywhere. I saw him with my own eyes shooting at everybody. Everybody started to run. The first thoughts was "Why are the police shooting at us? What the fuck?!" I run into the small hall. People was running. Screaming. I was afraid. I managed to get in to one of the rooms in the back of the building. We was many people there. We lay on the floor all together. We heard more shots. Got more scared. I cried. I didn't understand anything. I saw my best friend through the window and was wondering if should go out to get him in to my room. I did not. I saw death in his eyes. We were lying on the floor for a few minutes. Then we agreed to not let anybody inn just in case the murder comes. We heard more shots and decided to jump out of the window. We was all under heavy panic. Everybody in the room quickly approached the window and tried to jump out of it. I was the last one and thought: "I am the last one to jump. Now I die. I am sure, but maybe its fine, at least I know the others are safe". I threw my bag out of the window. Tried to climb down, but lost the grip. I landed hard on the left part of my body. A boy helped me to stand. We run toward the forest. I looked around. "Is he here? Is he shooting against me? Do he see me?". A girl had her ankle broken. Another one was very injured. I tried to help a bit before I continued toward the sea. I sought cover behind a sort of brick wall. We was many. I was praying, praying, praying. I called my mother and told her I most likely wont see her again, but I was going to do everything I can to survive. I told her several times I loved her. I heard the fear in her voice. She was crying. The thought hurts me. I sent a text message to my father, told him I loved him. I sent a text message to another human I am very glad in. We held contact a bit. I sent text message to my best friend, he did not answer. We heard more shots. We crawled together. Did every thing we could to stay warm. There was so many thoughts. I was so scared. My father called me. I cried, I told him I love him. He said he was on the way together with my brother to retrieve me when I arrived the main land or when they arrived to the island. There was so many feelings, so many thoughts. It took a while. The other ones who was calling their parents ended their conversations and started to text instead in fear that the murder should hear us. I was thinking on my sister whom is on vacation. How should I tell her how it went? What happen to me. I updated my status on twitter and facebook that I was still alive and was "safe". I wrote that I was waiting for the police. People jumped in the water, started to swim to the mainland. I was laying on the ground. I decided that if he arrives, I should play dead. I should not run nor swim. I can not describe the fear, all my thoughts and what I felt at that time.
A man come, he said: "I am from the police". I was just laying on the ground, playing dead. Somebody screamed back to him that he had to show proof that he had to prove that he was from the police. I don't quite remember what he said, but he started to shoot. He loaded his weapon, and shoot more. He shot everybody. I was just playing dead on the ground. I thought: "Now its over. He is here. He sees me. Now I die". People was screaming. I heard gun shots. More people jumped to the water. I was still playing dead. With my cellphone in my hand. I lay on top of the legs of a girl. To other people lay on top of my legs. My cellphone got lots of text messages. The cellphone called several times. I did not answer, I kept playing dead for at least one hour.
Everything was quiet. I carefully changed the direction of my head to see if I could find anyone alive. I saw dead bodies. I saw blood. Fear. I decided to stand up. I had been lying on top of a dead body. And 2 dead bodies lying on me. I had englevakt[angel watch/guard]. (englevakt - Norwegian term that means extraordinary amazing luck).
I didn't know if he would come back again. I didn't have the courage to check who had called and sent text messages to me. I run toward the water. Took off my sweater. It was big. I thought it would be hard to swim with it. I considered whether I should bring my cell phone or leave it behind. I put it in my back pocket and jumped into the sea. I saw many people out in the sea already swimming. They had been swimming very far. I saw some people gather around a floating boat or something. There was many boats there to pick up survivors. I kept on swimming, swim, swim toward those boats. I screamed. Cried. The sea is very cold, I became tired and numb. I thought I was going to drown any second. My body became heavier and heavier. I kept on swimming. My arms was so tired, I decided to turn on my back, try to relax and swim with my feet. I sunk. I started to swim normal again. After a moment I thought those who had gathered around the boats started to move away from me. I screamed. Begged them to wait for me. I must have seen an illusion. After swimming for a couple hundreds of meters I reached them. We talked together. Told each other what our names was, if we was ok. We started to approach mainland. Our boat had to much height in it, and water started to flow into the boat. We had a bottle and tried to do our best to make the boat float.
We finally arrived to mainland, we got warm carpets over our ice cold bodies. After the shock, tears have finally started to flow. A woman gave me a hug. It felt good. I cried loudly. I sob. A man borrowed me his cellphone. I called my father: "I am alive. I made it. I am safe". I hang on. I cried more. We had to walk a while. Strangers took us inn to their cars and gave us a ride to a local hotel. I looked around to see if I could locate my best friend. I did not find him. I saw another friend. I cried loudly. We hug each other. It felt good. I walked around, searching for more of my friends. My heart was beating. I cried more. I registered myself with the police, saw through all lists of names. Searching for my best friend. I couldn't find his name anywhere. I was scared, I slightly fainted. I took off my wet socks. I was half naked. Got a jacket. I tried to get myself together. Contacted my parents again. My father and big brother was soon here to get me.
I updated my facebook and twitter again saying that I am safe. I was on the hotel for several hours before my family finally arrived. I was looking for faces to recognize, I talked with a priest. I told him everything I had seen. It was a good conversation. A man from the Red Cross started to patch up my wounds, cleaned them. Time went. I was with some of my friends. Everybody was talking about the same thing. How we survived. What had just happen. I asked them if they had seen my best friend. Nobody had seen him. I got very scared. Thought that it was my fault because we didn't stick together. A friend got a key to one of the hotel rooms, and we stayed there, watched the news. It was anger, grief, so many feelings. Father called, he had finally arrived. I took the elevator down. Run toward them. Gave them a big hug. Cried loudly. My brother did too. It was a good moment. I saw a boy who looked like my best friend. I called his name. He turned around. It was him. We gave each other a hug for a long time. Both of us cried. We asked each other how we survived. After a while I registered myself out and went home.
Everything still haven't sunk in. I am still in shock. It doesn't feel real. I have seen my friends dead bodies, I have still missing friends. I am glad that I can swim. I am glad for being alive. There are so many feelings, so many thoughts. I thought about everyone who is involved. On everybody I have lost. On the hell which unleashed on Utøya. The summers most beautiful adventure changed into Norway's biggest nightmare.
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Source (in norwegian):
http://prableen.origo.no/-/bulletin/show/672218_helvete-paa-utoeya?ref=mst
So far over 85 dead bodies have been confirmed. They are still searching.
This is real, it is not a story. And may not be recommended for soft hearts to read.
-------------------------------------------
I have waken up. I cant sleep any more. I am sitting in the living room. Feeling grief, anger, luck, I don't know what. There is just too many feelings. It is too many thoughts. I am scared. I am reacting on every single sound. I will now write about what happen on Utøya. What my eyes saw, what I felt, what I did. The words will come straight from my liver, but I will at the same time anonymous many names in respect for my friends.
We had just been participating in a crisis meeting in the main building after the explosion in Oslo. After the meeting was many present around the main building. We comforted each other with that "we are safe on an island". Nobody knew that hell would unleash out with us too.
I was standing in the main building when the panic unleashed. I heard bullets being shot everywhere. I saw him with my own eyes shooting at everybody. Everybody started to run. The first thoughts was "Why are the police shooting at us? What the fuck?!" I run into the small hall. People was running. Screaming. I was afraid. I managed to get in to one of the rooms in the back of the building. We was many people there. We lay on the floor all together. We heard more shots. Got more scared. I cried. I didn't understand anything. I saw my best friend through the window and was wondering if should go out to get him in to my room. I did not. I saw death in his eyes. We were lying on the floor for a few minutes. Then we agreed to not let anybody inn just in case the murder comes. We heard more shots and decided to jump out of the window. We was all under heavy panic. Everybody in the room quickly approached the window and tried to jump out of it. I was the last one and thought: "I am the last one to jump. Now I die. I am sure, but maybe its fine, at least I know the others are safe". I threw my bag out of the window. Tried to climb down, but lost the grip. I landed hard on the left part of my body. A boy helped me to stand. We run toward the forest. I looked around. "Is he here? Is he shooting against me? Do he see me?". A girl had her ankle broken. Another one was very injured. I tried to help a bit before I continued toward the sea. I sought cover behind a sort of brick wall. We was many. I was praying, praying, praying. I called my mother and told her I most likely wont see her again, but I was going to do everything I can to survive. I told her several times I loved her. I heard the fear in her voice. She was crying. The thought hurts me. I sent a text message to my father, told him I loved him. I sent a text message to another human I am very glad in. We held contact a bit. I sent text message to my best friend, he did not answer. We heard more shots. We crawled together. Did every thing we could to stay warm. There was so many thoughts. I was so scared. My father called me. I cried, I told him I love him. He said he was on the way together with my brother to retrieve me when I arrived the main land or when they arrived to the island. There was so many feelings, so many thoughts. It took a while. The other ones who was calling their parents ended their conversations and started to text instead in fear that the murder should hear us. I was thinking on my sister whom is on vacation. How should I tell her how it went? What happen to me. I updated my status on twitter and facebook that I was still alive and was "safe". I wrote that I was waiting for the police. People jumped in the water, started to swim to the mainland. I was laying on the ground. I decided that if he arrives, I should play dead. I should not run nor swim. I can not describe the fear, all my thoughts and what I felt at that time.
A man come, he said: "I am from the police". I was just laying on the ground, playing dead. Somebody screamed back to him that he had to show proof that he had to prove that he was from the police. I don't quite remember what he said, but he started to shoot. He loaded his weapon, and shoot more. He shot everybody. I was just playing dead on the ground. I thought: "Now its over. He is here. He sees me. Now I die". People was screaming. I heard gun shots. More people jumped to the water. I was still playing dead. With my cellphone in my hand. I lay on top of the legs of a girl. To other people lay on top of my legs. My cellphone got lots of text messages. The cellphone called several times. I did not answer, I kept playing dead for at least one hour.
Everything was quiet. I carefully changed the direction of my head to see if I could find anyone alive. I saw dead bodies. I saw blood. Fear. I decided to stand up. I had been lying on top of a dead body. And 2 dead bodies lying on me. I had englevakt[angel watch/guard]. (englevakt - Norwegian term that means extraordinary amazing luck).
I didn't know if he would come back again. I didn't have the courage to check who had called and sent text messages to me. I run toward the water. Took off my sweater. It was big. I thought it would be hard to swim with it. I considered whether I should bring my cell phone or leave it behind. I put it in my back pocket and jumped into the sea. I saw many people out in the sea already swimming. They had been swimming very far. I saw some people gather around a floating boat or something. There was many boats there to pick up survivors. I kept on swimming, swim, swim toward those boats. I screamed. Cried. The sea is very cold, I became tired and numb. I thought I was going to drown any second. My body became heavier and heavier. I kept on swimming. My arms was so tired, I decided to turn on my back, try to relax and swim with my feet. I sunk. I started to swim normal again. After a moment I thought those who had gathered around the boats started to move away from me. I screamed. Begged them to wait for me. I must have seen an illusion. After swimming for a couple hundreds of meters I reached them. We talked together. Told each other what our names was, if we was ok. We started to approach mainland. Our boat had to much height in it, and water started to flow into the boat. We had a bottle and tried to do our best to make the boat float.
We finally arrived to mainland, we got warm carpets over our ice cold bodies. After the shock, tears have finally started to flow. A woman gave me a hug. It felt good. I cried loudly. I sob. A man borrowed me his cellphone. I called my father: "I am alive. I made it. I am safe". I hang on. I cried more. We had to walk a while. Strangers took us inn to their cars and gave us a ride to a local hotel. I looked around to see if I could locate my best friend. I did not find him. I saw another friend. I cried loudly. We hug each other. It felt good. I walked around, searching for more of my friends. My heart was beating. I cried more. I registered myself with the police, saw through all lists of names. Searching for my best friend. I couldn't find his name anywhere. I was scared, I slightly fainted. I took off my wet socks. I was half naked. Got a jacket. I tried to get myself together. Contacted my parents again. My father and big brother was soon here to get me.
I updated my facebook and twitter again saying that I am safe. I was on the hotel for several hours before my family finally arrived. I was looking for faces to recognize, I talked with a priest. I told him everything I had seen. It was a good conversation. A man from the Red Cross started to patch up my wounds, cleaned them. Time went. I was with some of my friends. Everybody was talking about the same thing. How we survived. What had just happen. I asked them if they had seen my best friend. Nobody had seen him. I got very scared. Thought that it was my fault because we didn't stick together. A friend got a key to one of the hotel rooms, and we stayed there, watched the news. It was anger, grief, so many feelings. Father called, he had finally arrived. I took the elevator down. Run toward them. Gave them a big hug. Cried loudly. My brother did too. It was a good moment. I saw a boy who looked like my best friend. I called his name. He turned around. It was him. We gave each other a hug for a long time. Both of us cried. We asked each other how we survived. After a while I registered myself out and went home.
Everything still haven't sunk in. I am still in shock. It doesn't feel real. I have seen my friends dead bodies, I have still missing friends. I am glad that I can swim. I am glad for being alive. There are so many feelings, so many thoughts. I thought about everyone who is involved. On everybody I have lost. On the hell which unleashed on Utøya. The summers most beautiful adventure changed into Norway's biggest nightmare.
---------------------------------------------------
Source (in norwegian):
http://prableen.origo.no/-/bulletin/show/672218_helvete-paa-utoeya?ref=mst
So far over 85 dead bodies have been confirmed. They are still searching.
Last edited:
