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Post as much as Funny jokes you can tibia or not tibia

Winnerandy said:
A man walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The bartender pulls
out a shotgun and points it at him. The man says "thank you" and leaves.
Why did the man thank the bartender?


The man had the hiccups. So he asked for water to cure his hiccups.
The bartender instead scared the hiccups out of the man by pointing
the gun at him. The man thanked him and left.
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LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL thats so funny hahaha amkes me rofl
 
diviinoo said:
Adult Joke.. so if you are 13 or less.. (most of you are) stop reading jaja

but watever.. jaja

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

“Mother, where do babies come from?”

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”

The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend.

“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”

“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
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Haha!
Old one :peace:

There was two small kids drinking milk from their mother's boobs, one of them hate his brother and he wanted to kill him, he putted poison on the boob that his brother drinks from.
When he woke up at the morning he found his father is dead.

XD
 
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Sir Blondi said:
There was two small kids drinking milk from their mother's boobs, one of them hate his brother and he wanted to kill him, he putted poison on the boob that his brother drinks from.
When he woke up at the morning he found his father is dead.

XD
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Lmao pwnt, start using the Edit button now instead of double posting, yes?
 
Dead baby jokes. XD

What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline you take your shoes off.

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?
Fucked.

How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
Nail its other hand to the floor.

What do you call a dead baby, a rat, 6 week old bread and a gherkin?
A B*g Mac.

Why didn't they crucify baby Jesus?
I don't know why they didn't either.

What's present do you get for a dead baby?
A dead puppy.

What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ?
Cancer.
 
Shiimi, see you in hell.

What's funnier than a guy with 2 eyes? A guy with 3...i.e. SHIIMI

What do you get for illiterate mf'ers? A dictionary.
 
Was the illiterate thing for me as well? I am pretty sure that all of my jokes were in perfect english.
 
nevalopo said:
A Polish man wanted to learn how to sky dive. He got an instructor and started lessons. The instructor told the Pole to jump out of the plane and pull his rip cord. The instructor then explained that he himself would jump out right behind him so that they would go down together. The Pole understood and was ready.

The time came to have the Pole jump from the plane. The instructor reminded the Pole that he would be right behind him. The Pole proceeded to jump from the plane and after being in the air for a few seconds pulled the rip cord.

The instructor followed by jumping from the plane. The instructor pulled his rip cord but the parachute did not open. The instructor, frantically trying to get his parachute open, darted past the Pole. The Pole seeing this yelled, as he undid the straps to his parachute, "So you wanna race, eh?"
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Although I don't like polish stupid jokes because it was mainly influenced by nazi and soviet propaganda, that one was very funny :p
 
What did an apple said to a bannana?
-Nothing because apples dont talk

jejejej
 
Tenhum said:
What did an apple said to a bannana?
-Nothing because apples dont talk

jejejej
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Q: what did the underwater dog say
A: shark! (instead of bark)

Q: What was the teenage sharks favorite internet site
A: MyShark

Q: why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
A: to get to the other TIDE
 
^ WORD

funniest in this thread:
Saints Anathema said:
why do jews have such big noses?


because air is FREE!
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klockren.png
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Cyko's mindfucks xd

There was two small kids drinking milk from their mother's boobs, one of them hate his brother and he wanted to kill him, he putted poison on the boob that his brother drinks from.
When he woke up at the morning he found his father is dead.
Click to expand...
 
Here is one of my jokes xD

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

___________________________________________________________________________
This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What’s WRONG with me, Doctor!?”
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain’t nothing wrong with your eyesight

____________________________________________________________________

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.
 
There was a competition, the one that farts hardest, and takes down the building, wins 2 miljon bucks so the first one tried, and failed , the second one tried , and failed , the third one tried very hard, and did it.. so he got hes 2 miljon bucks, after 3 months a friend of that person saw him.. he asked: what did you do with the 2 miljon bucks, the person answered: i gave 1 miljon to my wife and 1 miljon to the hospital for working on my ass!

Did you hear the latest news?

Neither did i!

Once upon a time, saddam and hes friends were talking, you guys know saddam was rich so everything he eats / drinks from is from gold, so a friend called Azaldory he had 2 tea spoons together, so he looked around him, and putted one of the spoons in his pocket, so saddam said: I will do a magic trick, i will put my spoon on my pocket, and Azaldory takes it out from his pocket!
 
A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we have no bread."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we haven't got any bread!"

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any bread, and if you ask me again and I'll nail your dang beak to the bar you irritating dang duck!"

Duck says: "Got any nails?"

Barman says: "No"

Duck says: "Got any bread?

-----------------------------------
Bill and Bob, two children, were sitting outside a clinic. Bill happened to be crying very loudly.

"Why are you crying?" Bob asked.

"I came here for a blood test," sobbed Bill.

"So? Are you afraid?"

"No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.

As Bob heard this, he immediately began crying profusely.

Astonished, Bill stopped his tears and asked Bob, "Why are you crying now?"

To which Bob replied, "I came for a urine test!"
 
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