Yo' moma's so big and fat that when she decided to try out the new swimming system, edron got swallowed by the ocean and was uninhabitable for several days.
Yo' moma's so fat it took CIP serveral days to sprite a crane capable of lifting her out of the ocean to make edron visitable again.
Yo' moma's so fat she could never leave rook town, the bridge wouldnt support her weight.
Yo' moma's so fat she got banned from tibia cause she broke the premmy bridge everytime she tried crossing it.
Yo' moma's so stupid she keeps on rightclicking trees to get fruit, just because the bushes gives berries.
Yo' moma's so stupid she demands that the NPC's safe-trade her whenever she buys/sells anything.
Yo' moma's so stupid she walked into bank of tibia wanting a creditcard so she can buy tibia prem time.
Yo' moma's so ugly that cip once offered her the job of beeing a member of the Ruthless Seven, representing the hell circle "Ugly".
Yo' moma's so ugly she once got asked out on a date by a braindeath.
Yo' moma's so old she used to give Uman spankings whenever he tried stealing apples from her backyard.
Yo' moma's so ugly she once made a demon cry, as the demon accidently burned her armor away leaving her naked.
Yo' moma's so fat she carries her backpack in the ammo slot cause she cant fit it around her back.
Yo' moma's so ugly she caused several gm's to quit... reason? They teleported to her.
Yo' moma's so ugly she once escaped banning by flashing the GM's on gm island.
Yo' moma's so ugly she got banned for hacking, reason? She cleared annihilator solo by teleporting to it naked.
Yo' moma's so fat she cant hunt in darashia cause whenever she leaves town she sinks into the sand and dies.
Yo' moma's so old that her account number is 1.
Yo' moma's so dumb she once asked a GM which quest gives "GM outfit".
Yo' moma's so dumb she once met a GOD and the first thing she asked was "So, how's Jesus?".
Yo' moma's so dumb she once got an "F" in the tibia rook tutorial.
Yo' moma's so dumb and fat she tried killing roaches by walking over them... and succeeded.
Yo' moma's so fat CIP has granted her 1000 extra item slots in depot, so that she can fit her daily food ration inside of it.
Yo' moma's so fat CIP had to remake all the armor shops, they now offer "Regular size armor" and "Big momma size armor".
Yo' moma's so ugly she got banned from Carlin, cause they though she "looked TOO much like a man".
Yo' moma's so fat she cant use boats even though she got prem, shes simply too fat.
Yo' moma's so fat she can PK on servers without consequences, her sprite is too big for the skull icon to show.
Yo' moma's so fat she is never invited to party hunts, cause she takes up all the space in the battle window.
Yo' moma's so fat she dosnt need any armor, her body-fat has ten times more armor than MPA.
Yo' moma's so fat she dosnt need a backpack, she just stores the item in a skin-fold.
Yo' moma's so fat that she is the reason why CIP uses "Cap" instead of "Weight", they once tried to implement it, but when they came to her character in the database, the server crashed with an "Out of memory" error trying to calculate her weight.
Yo' moma's so dumb she ate disintegrate-runes trying to loose weight.
Yo' moma's so dumb she once tried to heal herself with an SD... and it worked.
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That's all i can think of now... might post some more later... =P